My mother has told me stories of growing up when not just her own parents but any parent would tell a child to behave when confronted with rude, unruly, or naughty behavior.  Back then if you were acting like brat at your friend's house your friend's mom wouldn't just keep quiet about it and not schedule another playdate.  No sir.  Your friend's mom would confront you herself and scold you as if you were her own child.  Later she would tell your mom about your bad behavior and your mom would be happy that your friend's mom handled it appropriately.  Today the rules are different and those days seem long gone.

There have been many times when I have witnessed parents allowing their children to just carry on with rude, dangerous, and even violent behavior and say absolutely nothing.  Sure, we've all had our bad parenting days when we're fed up, burned out, and tired.   Yet, when unruly, rude, dangerous, and violent behavior occurs as a bystanding parent, how do you react?  Let me paint a few scenarios:

Scenario 1

You're in the bathroom at a local store (maybe your kids are with you, maybe they're not).  Another mom with her two kids enters the bathroom and the mom dashes into a stall leaving her two kids waiting for her.  While the mom is indisposed the kids start fighting.  The mom is clearly unable to do anything as she's in the stall, and she's trying to talk her quarrelling kids into calming down to no avail.  You're at the sink washing your hands.  Do you intervene and say something to her kids or do you just walk out happy it's not you and your little darlings?  If you intervene, what you do?

Scenario 2

You're at your weekly playgym group with your toddler.  It's an open group and the kids are doing various activities guided (but not forced) by the instructor.  You and your child are happily drumming on a big drum with the instructor.  Another mom and tot joins, but the tot decides to crawl up and sit right on top of the drum.  No longer can you  and your child drum.  Neither the instructor nor the mother of the tot says anything to the child nor removes the child from sitting on top of the drum.  Do you tactfully say something or do you just get up with your child and move on to another activity?  If you choose to say something, what would you say?

Scenario 3

You finally got a quick hour to yourself to run some much needed shopping errands are your favorite superstore.  While doing your shopping, you over hear a child having a severe screaming tantrum in another area of the store.  After 10 minutes the child is still screaming and crying and appears to be getting closer to your aisle.  As your round the corner you spot the child in the cart yelling at his mother and crying so loud that other customers are also looking at them.  The mother acts completely oblivous to it all and continues shopping and ignoring her child.  You think it's bound to stop soon, but the mother carries on and so does the child.  Now 20 minutes has passed and the child is still screaming just as loudly and it's obvious the mother has no intention of leaving the store any time soon.  Do you intervene in some way or do you leave the store or do you say nothing and continue shopping?  If you intervene, what's your approach?

Scenario 4

Several neighborhood kids are playing in your backyard with your kids while you are fixing dinner.  You can clearly see what everyone is doing and the kids are having fun.  Another two kids join the group and the two new kids start throwing rocks.  Chaos quickly ensues and your kids run in to tell you about it.  Do you tell your kids to just stay inside until the two kids throwing rocks have left or do you intervene?  If you intervene, what do you do?

Feel free to post your comments as well as your own scenarios.