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Poll: How well do you get along with you mother-in-law?

How well do you get along with you mother-in-law?
Options:
very poorly
okay now, but it was a rough start
just fine
better than with my own mother
Results:

very poorly
20%
okay now, but it was a rough start
21%
just fine
41%
better than with my own mother
18%
Total votes: 763
Created by Lisa
Posted on 12/07/2007 10:30 AM
See all polls by Lisa
 
Comments:
Unfortunately my MIL has a completely skcewed view on marriage,mothering and life in general. We were great in the beginning but once my husband proposed it went downhill very quickly
posted by Kyleen on 12/07/2007 12:23 PM
Once I had my first child my MIL thought she could run my life. She would "drop in" way too often and try to take over mothering my child. She constantly told me he needed his diaper changed, he needed to be fed, burped, etc. She would call at least once, if not twice a day. She was nosey and overbearing. Once I spoke up (it took me about 4 months) she somewhat backed off. Now I am very direct with her. I telll her exactly what I need, when I need it.
posted by Lisa on 12/07/2007 01:31 PM
Most people say that they don't like their in laws but I actually like mine, not more then my own parents but the in laws are up there.
posted by Chelle on 12/07/2007 03:58 PM
I HATE my mother in law...there is a ton of reasons but the one that pops in my head the most is that she treats me like i stole her son away from her....like she was the only woman he ever needed...ugh
posted by Amber on 12/07/2007 10:41 PM
My MIL passed away when my husband and I were still dating. We got along great though.
posted by Sheila * R on 12/10/2007 09:43 AM
my MIL is great! My FIL and step Mil were a tad overbearing for awhile, but they have all been available to me whenever i have ever needed anything. I can't ask for a better set of inlaws. of course, hubby has an even better set than i do!! (HAHA) :-)
posted by mmm on 12/11/2007 10:45 PM
My mother-law is fine. She may not like me at times, but as long as she is great with my kids and treats them well, then I can careless how I may or she may feel about me. It is important to have a relationship for the kids sake, and when they get older, you don't have to pretend any longer!
posted by Roxanne on 12/12/2007 02:13 PM
It was very rough in the beginning - but my mother-in-law is very sick in the head, and I am very serious. We don't see her much as she is an alcoholic, pill popping freak. It sucks for my son that he has a grandma like that but we tell him she is a good person who travels a lot, since she's only seen him a few times in his life cause she's sooo messed up. My FIL (who is great) is remarried and his wife I consider my MIL and she is awesome.
posted by Renata on 12/14/2007 02:02 PM
My MIL sometimes seems to favor her other granddaughters because they are her daughters children. But she does send my babies gifts and calls them once a week, so I don't care how she and I don't see eye to eye.
posted by mommylopez on 12/19/2007 10:53 PM
I can't stand my MIL. She hasn't liked me from day 1. She acts very fakearound me, but I have heard how she really feels about me. My daughter is her only grandchild and when we told her that we were pregnant, she was more concerned with the fact that the due date was 2 weeks from her daughters wedding than the fact that she was becoming a grandma. She doesn't even know my age nor does she know anything else about me. I was hoping that she would be better with my daughter, but she acts scared to hold her(she holds her very far from her body), doesn't ever see her(spent 10 minutes with her the day she was born), and buys her toys that are way too old for her. This woman needs to get her head on straight!
posted by Ashley on 12/20/2007 02:06 PM
My relationship with my MIL is ok distant but ok. My husbands family is very consrvative and religious. They really don't know how to relate to me. When my husband and I started dating it was clear to see that they were uncomfortable with me. I was a single mom of two teenage boys at the time. Then when I became pregnant with my daughter things became even more strained. I was made clear to me that my inlaws felt that I had ruined their sons life. Also when my MIL would care for our daughter she didn't like it that I had a certain way of things that I wanted done with my daughter. She felt like she had raised 8 children and didn't think she should be told how to care for her grand-daughter. Unfortunetly this issue has never been resolved and has resulted in a distance between my daughter and MIL.
posted by on 12/22/2007 02:15 AM
OMG!! I love my MIL!!. I have actually known her longer then I have known my husband. She and my mom are actually best friends. I meet my MIL when I was nine, my my hubby when I was 18. She and my mom set us up. That was almost seven years ago now. Wow.
Anyway, I know that I got lucky in the family department. My parents are divorced, but they are still great friends,and mom and MIL like I said are best friends, so holidays are a ton of fun, cause we all get together. And I know how lucky I am to be able to say all of that. I wish others could be as lucky.
posted by Elise on 01/06/2008 05:56 PM
oh god....i have no comment on this i dont want to get myself upset with that woman....
posted by sophia on 01/17/2008 11:03 PM
My MIL is a P.I.T.A. She also acts as though I stole her son away from her, and she should have been the only woman in his life, she is a Freudian nightmare. We do not speak to or see her anymore, my life is good, Ding dong the witch is dead...lol
posted by on 01/21/2008 09:28 PM
We act like we get along but i can see the tension.....most mil and mothers are all about grandbabies and all over you about having them.....not my MIL after i found out about my second son she was pushing for me to get my tubes tied.....one that is the last person i would be talking about that with,......that is between me and my husband.....i would have been okay if she would have asked once and left it alone.......but no she didnt....not to mention im only in my early 20s i have lots of child bearing years left and in the next few years we have talked about going for baby 3...sorry a lot of pent up anger...not too mention..my sons christening....she kept all of the stuff it ....like the outfit and what not....im sorry but maybe i wanted to keep it but no if her other sons have kids they will end up getting it.....but from the way them 2 live me and my hubby are her only chance lol
posted by Bobbi on 01/22/2008 05:07 PM
From the sounds of these stories, I must be really blessed! My MIL and I get along wonderfully and are great friends. She is super supportive and loving. She watches my son one day a week and they LOVE spending time together. She lives closer than my own mother, so I'm extemely grateful for her support. My husband jokes that she loves me more than him!
posted by Mandy on 01/29/2008 07:40 PM
My mil and I don't get along very well, I hate it for my husbands sake, but I guess that's life. I come from a very different culture than him so they just don't approve of me.
posted by Stephanie on 01/31/2008 10:23 AM
dude i love my mother in law so much and i wish my own mother was like her. she has been the most helpfull wonderfull person. she has come to see her grand babies WAY MORE then my mom. heck my mom hasent even seen her grand daughter more then twice and that was when she was born (shes now 3 1/2 months old). i think that sometimes i get along better with my mother in law then my husband does. and we talk more then he and her do to.
posted by Angela on 02/06/2008 04:16 PM
Its sorda sad to say, but i really care for my MIL more than my own mother. She has been wonderful to my kids and is always there for babysitting. She is in her late 60's and my mother is only in her late 40's. My MIL is far more active with our kids. She gets down on the floor and plays silly with them, chases them around. She stops by to visit whenever she can. Calls my kids on the phone because she misses them so much. My mom is a great person and we get along, but she has always put my father first, we have never really had a relationship. So my MIL is like a mother to me and I am very lucky to have her in our lives.
posted by Jodi on 02/11/2008 08:28 PM
I love my MIL. she is an awesome ladie. next to my mother she is another women that i am blessed to have in my life
posted by on 02/13/2008 09:55 PM
The day I met my MIL I knew we would get along great! We are so much a like and love spending time together. Since we have had kids the bond between us has become even more strong. I just love her and thank God that she is in my life.
posted by Amy on 02/14/2008 11:07 PM
My MIL lives 3000 miles away, THANK GOODNESS for that, she is a overbearing, possessive nightmare!!!! She acts like I don't even exist most of the time and she refers to me as "my son's first wife"!! Can you believe that!! She acts like he was the one that was pregnant and gave birth to our daughter, who she refers to not as her grand-daughter but as her daughter! When they do come to visit, she always has to sit between my hubby and I and has to hold his hand and hug him all of the time, it is strange and I hate it!!!
posted by Erin on 02/21/2008 01:23 PM
I actually really enjoy my in-laws but they do live a couple of states away, so I guess that helps. They call every few days to find out how my son and the family is doing and they come by for a couple weeks every other month or so. They are really helpful when they do come. It is always a little overwhelming to have two people in your house that you normally share only with your husband, but we adjust while they're here.
posted by Heather on 02/28/2008 04:07 PM
it all started when my husband and i went to them to tell them we were engaged, they were watching tv and didnt even make a peep until a comercial, then to tell them we were expecting, all she did was sigh, they complained that they had to drive so far to get to the hospital to see him, stayed 15min and left, she insists that we are going to take him away, and so she sees no point in getting close, she wont come to our house, so we in turn have to bring our son over to her, and according to her it in not nearly enough, she insists that he forgets who she is, but really my son just ignores her, and now suddenly she likes me and wants to know when we are going to have another kid, and we NEED to have a girl this time, like i have control over that, so now i search on how to have a boy again. hahaha
posted by jamie on 03/09/2008 02:46 PM
My MIL is great, I can sit and talk to her all day long...my mom on the other hand, the 2 of us are too much a like so we end up fighting but its ok I love both of them
posted by Amers on 04/01/2008 10:03 PM
My MIL is a blast! She says the funniest things!. Half the time she has no idea what she is talking about. She has always been a good friend to me and I enjoy calling her a few times a week.
posted by jen on 04/06/2008 01:51 AM
we get a long good, mil and fil would do anything for us and that is AWSOME!
posted by Anne on 04/21/2008 04:21 PM
My MIL is the best. She actually understands me more than my on mom does, we have more in common, and we get along MUCH better. My own mother tends to think mostly of herself and what she wants, while MIL is extremely generous and thoughtful, and is always doing things to make others happy. She's also just a more pleasant person to be around (my mom seems to only be happy when she's mad about something). I love my FIL, too (but I dearly love and am closer to my own dad). My own family isn't the close-knit type, but my husband's is (despite being scattered geographically) and I love that. I'm so grateful to know MIL, FIL and the rest of my husband's family.
posted by Heather on 05/08/2008 09:18 AM
My MIL reminds me of the mom from Everyone Loves Raymond, but 10x's worse!! She has tried to break my husband and me up twice and then pretends nothing ever happened! She even told me that she just never saw him getting married and that he was always going to live with her. She is on meds for psychological issues, but doesn't always take them, so she's just a mess. She thinks that my 3 year old daughter wants to live with her and wants nothing to do with my 1 yr old son. LOONEY TOON!!
posted by Rebecca on 05/15/2008 06:24 PM
i've always gotten along well with my MIL but since my own mom died the year before my daughter was born, we've gotten closer. i really do consider her my mother too in a way but i will never forget how great my mom was. i always tell people i married into the best family!
posted by ophilea on 06/04/2008 03:14 PM
My MIL also live a long way away. She speaks a different language than I do so we can't even really argue. I think we might if we could understand each other better. My husband and I have been married almost 20 years so we've had some time to figure each other out so it's not awful, but could have been. Sometimes I think my husband was breast fed until he was 10, not by his choice. However, my mom is not much better. She's there when I need her but has always had a favorite child, my brother, and admits it. ( I am one of five children) Her grandson by my brother and his wife is her favorite and all the other grandchildren notice. Even my 3 1/2 year old knows there's a difference. It's very hard to be civil when your child is being treated as second best by his Grandmother!!
posted by Michelle on 08/04/2008 02:52 PM
my MIL lives in SC while we're in KY so we have a wonderful relationship we see her for about 5 days a year and then my FIL lives half a block away my children love going over there we walk over there about 3 days a week but my dad passed away before i really go to know him... and my mom and i can fight over anything...
posted by mandy on 08/24/2008 04:05 PM
Me and my mil get along great she is better than my own mom she helps me whenever i need her we got along great when we frist met which surprised me because i had three kids when i met her son and then he called her and told her i was pregnant with his chld we were over 1200 miles away. And when we got to her house she welcomed me with open arms and welcomed my other children like they have always been with her. I am glad she yells at me at times and makes me do the right things because my real mom never did it.
posted by Amber on 08/31/2008 08:26 PM
My MIL also acts like I stole her son away. But her attachment to him is pretty sickening if you ask me. I have two boys and never want to be the way she is when they get married or have girl friends. She has three sons and never really gets along with any women that come in the picture but she knows now that I'm not going anywhere. If anything the way she treated me did nothing but push my husband away from her she has no one to blame for that but herself. But I get along very well with his dad and step-mom.
posted by Kara on 09/12/2008 03:22 PM
I probably have the worst mother in law on earth! She’s a terrible 30+ years alcoholic. There for she is never around my child. And with alcoholism comes lying, anger, and all other kinds of craziness. She is a very hard person to like no matter how nice you are. On top of everything she trys to make my husband feel like he is the reason she is the mess she is. Even though she was drinking on and off before he and his siblings were even born. She is very manipulative and a very toxic person. as of right now she is not drinking but she stops here and there and her reasons for doing so are always someone else’s fault. I don't and haven't spoken to her in months :)
posted by christina on 09/18/2008 07:41 PM
I love my mother-in-law. She is an amazingly caring woman. I actually met her and my sister-in-law (my best friend) before I met my hubby. She never pushes her views of how to raise children onto me and only offers advice when I ask for it. She's tells everyone that she thinks that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her son. She has also told me, on more than one occassion, that if her son and I ever seperated, I'd always have a place in the family. She calls once or twice a month to see how the grandbabies are doing, and even though she leaves in a different state, she visits 3-4 times a year so that she can spend quality time with all of us.
posted by Amanda on 09/28/2008 10:46 PM
My MIL is a total nightmare. She's completely insane and should really be on medication-- I try not to take to heart the idiotic things she says to me, my husband, and to my son because I truly think she's mad. Sigh.
posted by KG on 10/14/2008 12:45 AM
i love my MIL.she is the best.we can alk about anything.we used to work together when i was living in michigan and had a blast.but now im in missouri.i miss her.i can talk to her about anything and she listens.she gives good advice too when me and huband r haveing fights.she dont take sides.god i love that woman.
posted by angie on 10/15/2008 01:36 AM
she supported me when my own mother didn't, when I got prego.
posted by Mary on 11/12/2008 11:00 AM
My mother in law was great the first 2 years of my marriage but then my husban became catholic and they were not happy with that and when we had our second child his whole family just started to ignore us so we dont get along anymore if she cant except our familys faith then i dont realy want to be around that kind of judgement
posted by on 12/11/2008 11:14 AM
My fiance and I are young but I helped raise 8 siblings so I know what I'm doing, sometimes better than her too bc her youngest child is 16 so sorry but things have changed in the last 16 years! We got along well before my son was born and we were living with my in-laws but as soon as he was born she started acting as if he was her son. because of this we had to move out and now that she's not looking over my shoulder every second we're getting closer now though. I still have some hidden hard feelings about some things though
posted by Grace on 01/23/2009 02:34 PM
It's not that my MIL and I don't get alone....we don't fight or anything, We barely talk...when we do there is a sense of respect...but I have the feeling she doesn't really like me. She doesn't make a effort to get to know me....even if I try to show her I want to get to know her. I guess I just have to face it I wont be as close as I would like. My FIL and I get along very well. I also get along with the rest of my husband's family. My husband thinks his mom doesn't like me cause I am not white and I am hispanic...She does tend to make comments that seem that is true but isn't quiet clear.
posted by Christie on 03/06/2009 09:21 PM
I loved My MIL. She passed away october 2007 from cancer. She was amazing. She cooked all the food for our wedding of over 500 guests. It was the best time of my life adn everyone loved the food. She accepted me from day one and never treated me poorly. She was an amazing women.
posted by on 03/14/2009 02:49 PM
only even tries to pretend to like me now that i have had our baby...i am the one she wishes i was his ex who she LOVED. Is also crazy and passes judgement "silently" so she thinks when it is very obvious and tries to like me for my husband's sake. She shoos me out of pictures that she only wants my daughter and husband to be in and gave us a picture of herself to put in the baby's crib so she will know her. What a psycho, if she wanted her to know her she would come visit more, with her living 2 hours away! But im not going to tell her that, i dont want to see her more than i have to!
posted by ashley on 03/25/2009 02:56 PM
My mil is fine. I know she has a stronger and better relationaship with my sil then with me, but I think it is because we do not have much in common. When my husband and I first started dating everything was typical and then after we moved in together and got engaged things changed a bit. She wasn't too sure about me taking her baby away and then when we told her we were pregnant things went even more downhill. It never was bad, but there just wasn't much of a relationship there. Now that my son is here our relationship is as good as I believe it is going to get. We aren't best friends but we are comfortable with each other and I am ok with it the way it is.
posted by Kimber on 05/18/2009 02:54 PM
My MIL, she is a strange chick. Sometimes she is so very backwards it completely baffels me. Then there are times I can learn from her, and I do. There are those times I find that I am teaching her. This relationship took about 91/2 years to achieve. I am the one who took off the boxing gloves first. Even though she is the won who started the boxing match, out of selfishness and control. I remember the way I loved my fathers family, and my cousins. They did a lot wrong. My mother wanted me to hate them so bad. I couldn't do that to my girls. Nor, would they let me as I didn't let her. There was so much more heartache that I could cut lose on. We are still working on all of it everyday. It has gotten so much nicer. I feel at peace and glad I talked myself into letting go. Believe me she hasn't changed too much it was me. She still does crazy things, but because I have let go they aren't so often. So, I guess generally we are all at peace now. It's all getting so much better.
posted by Lisa on 05/27/2009 10:59 PM
my soon to be mother in law is amazing. her and i get along better than i do with my own mother. Me and her are soooo much alike its crazy i can talk to her about ANYTHING and i love it. I love her
posted by Amy on 06/14/2009 06:10 PM
my 1st mother inlaw was great still talk and email ect with her. my now husbands mom, she nutz!!!!!!!! cant do anything right, never good enough. in her eyes im just the babys mama. it real makes me mad. she talks down to me and treats me like crap. if she could take my spot in life and raise my kids and my husband she would. if she could get my husband to move back in her house she would. i never had to deal with this!! my 1st mom inlaw, she so cool. i love her to this day. my now husband gets along with her also, my ex is not too happy but he cant do anything about it. i wish things where good with the now inlaw. i tried everything, now im just dont do anything. im nice but i live 26000 miles away so i dont have to see her. thank G--
posted by michelle on 10/07/2009 02:55 PM
My son's grandmother is trying to take custody of my child... She has in her mind that she should be raising my child, since I don't have as much money as she, and ask her a lot of concerning questions when he was a baby. That must of meant to her I can't take care of him... Who's MIL would do that??
posted by Rae on 12/08/2009 01:22 PM
There was tension with me and my MIL about a year into our dating relationship. We moved in together and she was mad she didnt get to see him more often. She has been a recovering alchololic for about 7-8 years now, but she wanted the beer more than her son when he was growing up. So her own fault that he didnt really ever go to see her. She is seriously messed up in the head. Has been seeing a therapist for some time now (even b4 I met her son). After the first year, there was sooo much tension. I hated spending time with her! 3 years later I had my son and she gave me a list of the days SHE WANTED to see him and have him spend over night. She was always coming over. Bought my son everything. (it was too much) wanted to know what we were doing on the weekends..Always said he was getting way too chubby (which always ticked me off)..ect...We got engaged and it even went more downhill. She wanted her son back but also wanted to love and care for my son the way she never did for her own son! At my sons 1st birthday party she told me (2 days later at my house) that I was a horrible host, didnt spend time with her side of the family, always had my son with myside of the family.. Just petty stuff! So I told her off and told her that she was no longer welcomed in my home. (Fiancee stood by me) It has been about 5 months now and I have only seen her 2 times. Theres still tension, I try to advoid her at all costs. Tho my son and fiancee go to her house a few days a month, so at least she gets to see her grandson. But I seriously cant stand her at all!
posted by EthansMommy on 01/20/2010 10:32 AM
my mil is probaly the worst person in the world. she favors one child over the other and same goes with her grandchildren. she used to beat my husband and bil. she lives for drama and truth be told i wish she would just disapear of the face of the earth. ever since i got with my hubby she has been making my life a livin hell. any happiness we have she squashes it imediately.
posted by skittlez on 06/07/2010 11:17 AM
my MIL is terrible. I mean my mom taught me not to talk bad about people but I am sorry. She babies my oldest daughter but not my other two. She also takes my oldest to placess but not my son who is only 11 months younger than his sister. She plays favorites and I hate it.
posted by Ashley on 09/03/2011 05:43 PM
  
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