Kids Activities  Quizzes  Photos  Classifieds  Coupons  Freebies 
Home  Login  Sign Up 
First Time Moms
Public online group
10 month old does NOT want to cuddle????

Okay...I'm starting to feel a bit anxious here about my Daughter. It use to be that I could hold her in my arms and she would eventually fall asleep. This went on for some time until recently I started to put her to sleep for naps and bedtime while awake so she would learn to fall asleep on her own. I really thought I would have a hard time with it but she proved me wrong. She was great with this and still is. She gets her bath and bottle, I sit in her room and read her a book and then lights out. She use to let me rock her for a few minutes...long enough for a song or two and then while awake in her crib she would go. It would take her about 10-20 minutes to fall asleep. I know I don't have the best singing voice, but I don't think babies care to much about that.

Well, now she won't even let me hold her after her book. Almost like she hates it. She cries BUT...if I put her right in her crib she is instantly quiet and eventually falls asleep. Please don't get me wrong. I think it's excellent that she can fall asleep on her own, but why does she want absolutely nothing to do with cuddling?

Here's where my paranoid mothering comes in to play. I think it is still too early, but I have heard of children that are autistic that don't like cuddling. She is kind of like this through the day as well. If sitting on your lap, she pushes your hands away as if saying don't touch me. She is fine in all other ways as far as making great eye contact and such, but has been a little slow in some gross motor skills.

Sorry about such a long post Moms. I am just looking for some insight as to whether or not this is just a phase or something I should keep an eye on.

Thanks, Sandy

Posted by Sandy on 02/26/2009 06:44 PM


Hey Sandy,

My daughter went throught the same thing until I quite nursing her and now she will cuddle when she gets up and when she is tired and ready to go to bed.

My daughter was 16 months old when I quite nursing and she was about 10 months when she started walking and then didn't want to be keeped from moving.

My daughter is now almost 23 months old. Don't worry she should get past this soon enough.

Good luck.

posted by Anne on 02/26/2009 07:20 PM

I think that is a very common stage!!! My niece did the same thing, she would just rather be in her crib, I think they find it easier to find the sweet spot right away.    I used to work with an autistic girl and from what you are saying I would not be concerned about autism at all, especially if she is making eye contact.  Just keep playing with her just the same, its probably just a phase. If you are still concerned about it there is nothing wrong with talking to your pediatrician that is what they are there for.

posted by on 02/26/2009 08:25 PM

I would say to keep an eye on it but not worry about it, if that makes sense.  Some babies can be more sensitive to touch and even dislike it to a certain extent.  She could also be feeling out her personal space.  It is kind of early for her to do that, but it is possible.  As adults, there are times we don't want anyone to be right up in our personal space and children can be the same way.

If she is 10 months, I would suggest keeping an eye on it and then mention it at her 1 year visit.  It is coming up and your doctor would be better able to determine if she has any other signs of anything such as autism.  I would not put to much concern in it though.  It is probably nothing.

This is also an age that babies begin to assert their independence.  They don't want to be confined and they often don't want to be held down.  It may just be something that you have to get used to.  Not all babies are cuddle bugs unfortunately for us mommies who want to cuddle.

posted by Casey on 02/26/2009 08:33 PM

There is nothing to even really bother keeping an eye on.  This is very normal.  She is at the age that she is going to start becoming more and more independent.  My son did the very same thing, as did every other kid I know.  She will come back around eventually.  My son did the very same thing your daughter did.  I could not even hold him for a min. before nap or bed.  Now at 16 mo. I get to hold him again before going to sleep long enough for a song or so.  Don't worry. 

posted by Kim on 02/26/2009 10:47 PM

You poor thing - I bet you are worrying yourself sick over this.  Stay off the internet and autism sites.  They are scary and confusing.  I drove myself crazy and made myself sick over this stuff for a long's not worth it.  You child is probably just going through a phase for sure.  Talk to your pedi, and know that autism, although talked about all the time right now, is still rather rare.  Enjoy your child.  :)

posted by on 02/27/2009 09:45 AM

Since posting this lastnight I have been overly watching Sienna. Things I did not mention are...she hardly responds to her name being called, takes about 15-20 times, when in her saucer chair she spins constantly and from the time I can remember she gets herself in this zone and if you try to remove her from wherever she is at she gets so angry. When excited she flaps her arms. She does not gesture or point at anything and when trying to show her how to do something such as pat-a-cake or peekaboo she has no interest in it at all.

I think I am freaking myself out but I am so worried. My Husbands nephew is autistic and I am unsure if it is hereditery. His brothers son has severe autism. If it did turn out that Sienna had any form of autism I would love her to my lifes end regardless, but if that is the case I wish I could know in order to start some sort of therapy.

I think it strinks that it cannot be diagnosed until they are older. There is so much awareness about it now that you would think there are ways to determine if there are possibilities earlier than 2-3 years old.

Sorry to ramble on, but I am really concerned.

posted by Sandy on 02/27/2009 11:12 AM

Call your pediatrician with your concerns and make an appt. to go in for an evaluatin with them, and ask what the next step should be. Good luck honey.

posted by on 02/27/2009 11:39 AM

Hi Sandy-

I recommend telling your pediatrician about your worries and concerns, but usually at that age they are unable to give a definitive diagnosis. I tried going to a free developmental evaluation (some are done in the home and some are done at centers). I live in Maryland, so naturally I thought I would try to get my son an appointment at Kennedy Krieger. They actually recommended I get him the free developmental test offered by the state before I confirmed my appointment with them. Needless to say, I never had to make that appointment at Kennedy Krieger. The free evaluation put my mind at ease. I just wanted to let you know that there are probably free services offered in your area that will at least give you some professional feedback. Good luck!

posted by Heather on 03/03/2009 07:59 AM

Your reply:
Privacy Policy |  Terms of Service |  Contact Us | About Us | Made in NYC
©2012 - All Rights Reserved